Help Wanted has everyone’s two favorite instruments, banjo and tuba, in the same song! A tongue in cheek kinda tune that takes a poke at modern employment opportunities. Written back in the dot com era, it’s come around again now after the 2008 economic crash. I was desperate for work and rather than relying on my own gut instincts, I picked up a local employment newspaper. Nearly all the words in this song came directly from the ads in that paper. No kidding! I couldn’t believe how much these corporations and employers were asking for people to do for so little compensation. I’m sure that everyone out there has had to look for a job before and run across this sort of thing, I just put it down into a novelty song to shine a light on it.
Help Wanted
$0.99
We are a growth-oriented company,
expanding markets internationally
Recent acquisitions have made stock swell
creating a need for some new personnel
We seek motivated people
creative and dynamic. outgoing
enthusiastic, not given to panic
who will thrive on challenge
and remain content
in this fast paced, changing environment
We need career minded goal setting
achievers who can work with
politicians and civic leaders
Must be neat clean cut
with personality, employment
drug screening is mandatory
Job duties include but aren’t limited to
strategic forecasting with
a longrange view
Conceptual estimating and
component selection,
production line driving
and virus detection
You got to identify hyper-
critical junctions, coordinate
groups and maintain support functions
Trouble shooting system architecture
is required, knowledge of accounting
is also desired
Now overtime’s essential and computer degree,
eager to work nights independently
Interpreting key indicators is a must
Fluent foreign language is also a plus
You need people skills for
corporate representation,
candidates must have their own transportation
No absence is permitted for paternity,
You may have to fly out
and head overseas
Starts at $8.00 bucks an hour
but have no fear $10. Is
easily obtained after only a year
If you have a good voice
keen eye for detail
smoking is permitted
if you don’t inhale
We offer a $100. sign-up bonus
and early retirement
if you join with us
One weeks’ vacation granted annually
Don’t miss this exceptional opportunity
If you feel your interest and experience
are compatible with our requirements,
Please fax, email or upload your
resume for consideration